Warning: This post is not for children under the age of 12.
Read at your own risk.
1. White walkers and dragons? Puh-lease. Chinese people had dragons and more. There’s a whole slew of mythical creatures like fox spirits, phoenixes, demons, yaoguai (monsters) and jiangshi (Chinese vampires but they behave more like zombies, really) that pervaded their imaginations for millennia.
2. There’s even more politicking than you thought possible. Ministers maybe being the fathers of the crown prince? Check. All kinds of sexytiemz had by all sexual orientations? Check. Concubines and empresses trying to kill one another? Check. Before she became empress, Wu Zetian allegedly killed her firstborn to frame the then empress and then take her place. Remember, the court was always bustling with many concubines, eunuchs, and dozens of ministers. Political intrigue is everywhere you look.
3. There is always killing. During the Tang dynasty, Yang Guifei, the emperor’s favourite concubine was executed by well, the emperor himself because of pressure from the people during the An Lushan rebellion. To assassinate the future first emperor, the would-be killer hid a dagger in the map for him to unravel.
4. There were so many badass warriors, male and female. Move over, Arya. Fu Hao was the first female general and she existed wayyyy before that. Look up Qin Liangyu and Liang Hongyu, two other badass female generals. I’m not counting Hua Mulan in this one because she’s fictional and probably inspired by Fu Hao.
5. Anyone can become a god. That is, if you are awesome of bad-ass enough. Meng Tian, the general who invented the brush, became a god. So did Guan Yu, the badass general and Di Ren Jie, who became Judge Di. There’s even a god of homosexuality, Tu Er Shen. We have Guan Yin for female gods and Chang E as well. So much fodder for crafting a fantasy universe.
6. The Dothraki are based on Mongols, but what’s cooler than them? Actual Mongols. Sure, there was Genghis Khan, but let’s not forget that they had awesome queens like Manduhai who saved the empire from falling. And they did this without dragons, Daenerys.
7. Ancient China did not have plumbing just like medieval England, but at least if you were royalty, servants threw away your shit for you. Assuming that the people in GoT lived in something similar like medieval Europe, there were gong farmers who had to catch the shit and pee people threw out of their homes. Would you rather clear waste in a chamber pot or catch waste from windows and run the risk of getting hit? I think I know the answer.
8. The battles were more epic and filled with more cunning than Game of Thrones. In any given era, there was always some epic battle that killed dozens and dozens of people. What’s more, some generals were wily and had cool war strategies to gain victory over their opponents. One example was Liu Bang VS Xiang Yu. Both of them wanted to be king after Qin Shi Huangdi died. To create the impression that Liu Bang had conquered the territory at Gaixia, he made his soldiers sing songs from the state where Xiang Yu was from, the state of Chu, so that Xiang Yu would get the idea that his people were conquered. This led to low morale and subsequently, his defeat.
9. In any fantasy universe that is based on ancient China (wuxia novel/TV series), there are always different sects that have superpowers and different types of martial arts. In Game of Thrones, there’s only sword-fighting. Also, people in wuxia novels/films/books can fly. Can the people in Game of Thrones fly? Huh? Huh? I don’t think so. There are also characters with cool weapons like needles and controlling the chi in your body to unlock acupressure points. Hell, you can even seal acupressure points. All of this is based on Chinese culture and it shows how creative people can get.
10. The food in ancient China was better. I don’t see the characters in Game of Thrones eating peaches, or fruits of any kind. They must have constipation already. Also, they had noodles, dumplings and more. Has anyone ever tasted Peking duck? All Game of Thrones has to show for is some rubbish like direworlf pastry or whatever.
Image copyright by HBO.