“Halt! Who goes there?” the turtle guard tried to sound as menacing as possible.
“Come on, Gui,” the 27th grandson of the Dragon King, Wei Long. “You know who I am. Look at me!”
“But there are so many of you that it’s impossible to keep track. All of you are making my head spin!”
“It’s not my fault that my grandfather had nine children, and his sons had lots of kids after that. He wanted nine more grandsons from each father, you know.”
“Thank goodness the women had something to say about that,” sighed Gui.
“Thank goodness indeed. So will you let me in, now?”
“But of course.” The shimmery coral that was the door opened, and Wei Long strode down the hallway. His paranoid grandfather had recently refurbished everything, and instead of a long stone hallway that reflected the patterns of the ocean’s waves, everyone had to walk through a labyrinth of shiny mother-of-pearl corridors, just to get to the throne room. Hmph, as if anyone would assassinate dear old grandpa. He was a little muddle-headed at his age, and forgot lots of important information. He wouldn’t be of any use to anyone, human, immortal, or demon, but of course, it was even rude for Wei Long to think that aloud.
“Presenting the 27th Grandson of the Dragon King of the East, Wei Long, Guardian of the Singapore River, the southernmost of the Southeast Asian Continent!” one of the fish trumpeted as he walked into his grandfather’s hall.
“To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit, young one?” His grandfather asked. The Dragon King had stopped remembering his grandson’s names and called them however he liked. Wei Long noticed that his grandfather seemed plumper and curvier than usual, but jumped into what he had to say.
“Grandpa,” Wei Long wasted no time with formalities. He saw that his grandfather frowned at this, but didn’t care. “Being a river guardian is stupid. The waters are so brackish and polluted, there is nothing that live under there. I am bored all the time, and I don’t get to do anything fulfilling or fun.”
“It’s just like you millennials to think of ‘fun.’ Being the Dragon Guardian of a river isn’t ‘fun,’ it’s a divine duty! You should be honoured that you get to serve.”
“Serve what? The river is nothing more than a polluted pond, people throw condoms, beer bottles, and trash in it, and worst of all, there is nothing to govern or preside by!”
“Wei Long…”
The young princeling wasn’t going to stop now, even though his grandfather had bared his teeth and snarled. “Grandpa, please, please, let me live among the mortals and do something else! No one needs me to be some guardian of a dingy river!”
“Enough!” The Dragon King said, and the walls of the palace shook. “You ungrateful brat! Not everyone has a celestial appointment nowadays, and you are even lucky to get one! And what do you do after three months of work? You throw this opportunity in my face! Do you know that I had to justify creating this position to the Jade Emperor? And now, you want to quit! You young people sicken me.”
Wei Long rolled his eyes.
“Come on, Grandpa. Come off that stupid routine. Even the Jade Emperor knows this is dumb. I could do so much good helping the people, and you know it.”
“What good is helping the people when all they do is eat, sleep, shit and waste the Earth’s resources? Trust me, their behaviour has not changed since millennia. Do you think it’s going to stop now?”
“I can try.”
“Look at you, so young and idealistic. You do not realise how cruel humanity can be. Stay within the areas of jurisdiction and you shall be fine.” The Dragon King huffed, and bubbles came out of his nose. But his grandson wasn’t going to give in.
“Grandpa, why are you so pessimistic? There is a lot of hope, and people can change!”
The Dragon King shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
“Grandpa? Grandpa!”
“Do you know what humankind has done to me?!” The Dragon King roared, ripping off his robes. This was why he had gotten curvier. Beneath his robes was a voluptuous, womanly body, and he was desperately trying to cover it up with layers and layers of clothes. But no matter how he layered it, it was obvious that he had an ample chest and hips. Wei Long tried to muffle his laughter by covering his mouth, but a loose snigger escaped.
“Do you think, for a minute, that our jobs are meaningless? This is what we are protecting the rivers from! Humanity has always dumped waste, and this time, they have dumped their hormonal medicines in the Yangtze River! It is so humiliating to have to cover up, and I have weird food cravings and sometimes, I feel like crying. This will not do! I won’t have ‘face’ the next time the Jade Emperor holds an audience!”
“Okay, Grandpa. I’ll think of something. If I succeed, will you let me live and work in the human world?”
“Only on one condition,” The Dragon King said. “You don’t let anyone know that I look like this.”
“Deal,” Wei Long said, and sauntered out of the palace.