I have no idea why something as hideous as the romper was created. It’s like a fickle-minded aunt who makes you wonder if all sense has left the world, because the piece of clothing certainly looks like it. It’s as though it’s saying, through your aunt, “Eh girl ah, wear a dress, but also wear shorts lah. Can one, can one.” And you’ll be looking at your Aunty, who is wearing gaudy pink lipstick and bright blue eyeshadow, thinking that it was simply a mistake to let her go shopping with you. And more often than not, it’s so high-waisted that you need to have skyscraper legs just to even look good in them. Never mind the fact that I am short and have curves–once again, the romper proves that this is a preposterous piece of clothing.

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Someone please tell me how she does not manage to zao geng (flash everyone) when she sits down in this thing. Just the other day, I saw a girl in a romper, and she flashed me when she bent down. (Image from Nordstorm. )

Simply put, the romper is unflattering on me. I have curves, I have thighs, and I have some meat on my arms. I do not wear heels with this, so I look short and stumpy. I am not a human hanger, and I will not look good in this. “But why body shame yourself?” You ask. You’re right–I should love my body, and I do. (Most of the time, and when I am not on my period.)

I do not, however, feel good or feel that I look good in a romper. I do not wear it. Because if I did, I would also have to worry about the logistics of peeing. Wearing a dress? Lift up your skirt. Have shorts or pants? Pull it down, easy. But a romper? Especially one with a zip at the back? Dude, you gotta get a chainsaw in here, because you have to have super deft hands to unbutton that button, and then your arms won’t be able to reach the zip at the back so you need someone to help you pull it down. You need a freakin’ personal assistant or the entire US secret service to help you out of your romper, and even then, when you’re sitting on the porcelain bowl, you are half-naked because you have stripped down all the way to your underwear just to pee.

Oh joy.

Also, what is up with pairing short rompers with long sleeves? A lot of the time, it just doesn’t work for me. It feels weird. If I wanted to bundle up, I’d wear long sleeves and pants. Those are separates because it makes sense to have separates! I do not want to wear everything in one colour, because there is this thing called complementary colours, and contrast! Ever taken an art class? Colour theory is important. If that isn’t enough, there are rompers that have long pants in the bottom area, and they looked, well, so heinous. Let me see if I can find a pic:

leopardprint
Image from www.terapeak.com

Aha. I even managed to find one in an offensive print and one in pants. There you go. I once had to shake hands with someone who wore something like this in a professional setting, and needless to say, I wondered if she was going to talk to be about work stuff or walk the runway. I mean, sure, she has the right to wear whatever she wants, just as I have the right to hate the piece of clothing she is wearing, regardless of how it looks on her. Who wears this stupid shit at work? It does take some amount of guts, I guess? But wait, why would anyone even wear this idiotic piece of clothing? It is so ugly!

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What is this print? Did some white lady go to Asia to be “inspired”, only to f*** it up like this? (Image from my-life-in-style.blogspot.com. )
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This is pyjamas. (Image from Polyvore.com. )
smocked-cotton-boho-jumpsuit-harem-pants2s
I just can’t with this one. Maybe it’s good for maternity wear? But if you’re stressing about your body during pregnancy (and some women do), you wouldn’t wear this? ( Image from www.nomoremomjeans.com)
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What is this? The top half looks something like what Britney Spears would wear, but the bottom half is seriously half-assed. The pun just came out. From shop.guess.com

So, rompers. They are created by the fashion industry to make you feel bad about your body, they make going to the bathroom impossible, and in all likelihood, they were created by men who wanted to make life more difficult for women, with hard-to-reach zips, weird holes and cuts, and more. This isn’t and will never be an option in my wardrobe, and if I ruled the world, they’d be the first things I’d burn. #trashtheromper. Peace.

 

 

One thought on “Clothes that I will never understand: The Romper”
  1. As I always understood it the term “romper” referred to a type of children’s clothing. And young children, as ones young enough you can put snap closures in places you would never put them in on an adult’s garments.
    That said, on toddlers they can be quite cute. However, they do not, as you pointed out, suit adults at all. So, to me, the fact that industry is trying to convince adult women to wear them is a bit insulting.

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