Okay, so if you’ve been following me for a while, you’ll realise that the posts have dried up… again.
Sorry. Well, I don’t have an excuse apart from work, and the game I have been playing recently — SMITE.
Yes, I have been playing a game instead of doing research for this blog, but come on — I get to be like, ALL (okay, nine) Chinese gods, just not all at once.
If you don’t know the game, Smite is a Multiplayer Online Battle Arena (MOBA) that is kind of like DOTA. If you don’t play DOTA, here’s how it goes: each player is on a five person team, and they choose to be a god, all the while trying to kill their enemies (and defeat the Titan).
But the Titan comes only in one mode. There are four modes to this game, and they are:
Conquest — where you and your team go through three lanes, kill enemy gods and eventually kill a Titan;
Arena — where it’s five VS five and you unleash a can of buttwhoop;
Assault — where you are given a random god and go through only one lane to kill a phoenix and then a Titan;
Joust — where you go at it one on one, or three VS three.
When you sign up, you get five starter gods, and you get to buy gods with the amount of favour or gems you accumulate. Some gods cost 2,000 favour, some 5,500. Or you can use gems to buy them, which are fewer and far between.
Warning: Swears beyond this point
Starter gods include Neith, the Egyptian Weaver of Fate, Guan Yu, the badass warrior from the Three Kingdoms era, Ra, the sun god, Ymir, the Norse Frost Giant, and Thor from The Avengers the Norse Thunder God.
I fucking love this game. Here’s why:
It’s really obvious that the Smite Team did their research from many pantheons — Greek, Roman, Mayan, Hindu, Mayan, Norse and of course, the Chinese gods. I have never seen a team that took so much dedication to make sure that all the gods’ powers correspond to what they did in their myths.
Here’s an example: Sun Wu Kong.
When you play the game, you have four attacks. Sun Wu Kong’s four are as follows:
1. The Magic Cudgel — Just like in the story, Wu Kong’s cudgel grows longer and he slams it on an enemy.
2. Master’s Will — This is an area of effect (AOE) attack and Monkey uses his cudgel and spins it around, hitting anyone in his way.
3. 72 Transformations — He changes into a tiger, an ox, or an eagle.
4. Somersault Cloud — He summons a cloud, rests on top of it to gain health while a decoy is on the ground. After 5s, he crashes onto the ground and kills.
Here’s a video that shows you how to play as him:
Another one of my favourites is the Dragon King of the East Sea, Ao Kuang. (I honestly think it should be spelled as Ao Guang, because his name makes the g sound, according to the rules of Hanyu Pinyin.)
Here are Ao Kuang’s skills:
1. Water Illusion — Ao Kuang creates a decoy of himself and teleports somewhere else. The decoy is a watery form of Ao Kuang himself.
2. Dragon Call — He summons many dragons, and they surround him. As he attacks an enemy with his sword, they attack the enemy, too.
3. Wild Storm — he creates a storm of lightning from his sword, and enemies electrocute and die.
4. King of the East Seas — this is, by far, his most epic attack. He grabs an enemy, tosses them into the air. If the victim is of low health. Ao Kuang changes into a dragon and lands wherever he pleases. Because he’s the mothafuckin’ dragon king, is why.
Here’s what he can do:
So you can tell I pretty much love this game. I get to be a larger-than-life god, I kill as many people as I can in arena mode, and I get to transform into a mothafuckin’ dragon. And you know, even though the game environments are eurocentric, the Egyptian, Hindu and Chinese pantheons are my favourites because I get to see these amazing mythological characters come to life. A lot of the time, the games I play allude to European or Scandinavian mythology, so Smite really balances things out for me.
Here are the Chinese gods that Smite has included so far:
That’s nine Chinese gods so far, and I have never seen Nezha, He Bo, and so many of them in computer games before. It really is such a treat for me to play as a god that represents my culture. Plus, the fast-paced way each arena game is played makes it super fun and challenging. I have to be on my toes all the time. It’s also interesting to see which gods and goddesses suit my play style — I do well as Hou Yi, Sun Wu Kong, and Ao Kuang, but not so well as Nüwa because I am more of a DPS (Damage Per Second) player, and not someone who stays in the sidelines and provides support. (I must admit, Nüwa’s ultimate attack does a lot of damage to all enemy players, though, so it counts for something.) It is a strategic game where I get to test out all these characters and play them according to my strengths, and try to make up for any weaknesses. And, if I don’t know how to play, I can watch how people do it on YouTube, head to the forums, or even Reddit.
But you know, there are some things that I don’t really like about this game — the fact that the game makers can’t say or pronounce these characters right.
I mean, I get it. Chinese is a difficult language, with four tones and all. Also, the accent that many white people have is difficult to get rid of, so pronounciation won’t be 100% accurate. It’s such a waste because the animators and researchers put in so much effort to make so many bad-ass characters, but their names are not pronounced correctly. I mean, Nüwa’s name has an umlaut, and it’s not said as Noo-wa, but Nyu Wa. It’s also not Changur, but Chang Er. Soon Wu Kong, not Sun (the fiery ball in the sky) Wu Kong. The list goes on.
So Hi-Rez Studios, makers of Smite, if you are reading this, hire me to teach you all how to pronounce these names. Or even better — I’d do the voice of the God Reveal for you. I’m serious. I’m not blamin’ you guys ’cause Chinese pronunciation is hard for many people who aren’t native speakers, but this game reaches out to an international audience, and everyone would benefit if they heard how these names are supposed to be pronounced.
And while you’re at it, include more Chinese gods! There are more fascinating gods apart from these nine, and they will rock the pantheon so hard. Please also include more women, not just Chang Er and Nüwa — I’m glad they aren’t sexualised, but women in Chinese mythology do kick a lot of ass, too.
There are two other things I don’t quite like about the way they are represented — the armour is much too clunky, and Sun Wu Kong isn’t supposed to be that muscular (at least in my head). He’s supposed to be skinny but strong. But this is artistic license, and I like that Hi-Rez Studios actually updates the designs to better capture the character.
So if you wanna hang, add me on Smite — PM me for details. And if you work for Hi-Rez Studios, hire me — I am serious with the whole pronunciation thing.