As someone who has always been an avid reader of books, I dislike it when I come across a book that I don’t like, or that a book I have read has failed to captivate me in any way whatsoever. Now that I’ve grown up, I am even worse about it. I am grumpy, and I force myself to finish the book, only to be disappointed as there really is nothing to redeem it. (I have disliked some of the books I was required to read in uni, and instead of throwing away the book in despair, I have forced myself to persevere to the end. This habit has stayed with me till now.)
That aside, I feel very bead I follow the author on social media and like what s/he posts. Writing the review becomes a difficult task because I am afraid of hurting the author’s feelings. It is also even worse if the author is a friend, or a friend of a friend. And the worst part is answering the question, “Well, how did you find [insert name of artistic work that I did]?” Don’t even get be started, man.
I certainly hope that when I write a bad review, the author does not take it personally because critique is part of growing as a writer. Yet, I shun away from giving negative feedback in real life because I don’t want to hurt the author’s feelings. I am a coward, and I have heard, all too often, of people getting butthurt over four star reviews or even the slightest criticism. Because of this, I avoid criticising my friends’ work. If I like it I say I do, if I don’t, I say something else or dodge the question completely like a scumbag politician. Yeah, you know the ones.
I realised the importance of critique when I went to creative writing workshops, because taking in critique that works for you benefits your work. I once refused to critique another classmate’s work (like the terrible person I am) when I realised that I did not find that his/her work was not worth investing in, and that the person was probably doing the class to get an easy A. (This was in university, where we could clear credits by doing fun classes like that.) At other times, during such classes, I could easily compile a list of notes that would take two hours to discuss.
But if I know someone personally? Critiquing any work by them is off the table as I do not want to risk our friendship. I’d rather hang out with them then pinpoint everything that I think it’s wrong with their work. Even if we prize our work, it’s hard to distance ourselves from it, and critique will still hurt, somewhat.
But when I give crit, I do hope I try to be fair. I know I can be vicious because of how much I dislike the content, but I know that doesn’t do anyone any good. So this is where I try to breathe and give myself some space, too, so that I can distance my all too personal feelings from the work and to look at it more objectively.
But, as with all books, for every book I dislike, there is someone out there who will like it. That should be enough for all the writers to keep writing.
Image via Brittany Stevens