I find it hard to speak up about issues because this blog was never intended to be political. However, I guess it’s part of how I have started to engage with the world. The last time I wrote anything remotely political or aired any of my opinions, it was when blogging started taking off. Blogspot was an in thing. Everything was creating blogs to write. Even the people who hated writing and didn’t see the point of English class were writing Ramly burger reviews and posting them online.
Suddenly, anyone could be a blogger. There was also Livejournal, xanga, and a bunch of open sites that may or may not have died. WordPress has lasted until now. There were many designers making and selling blog templates. Basically, everyone had a blog. A voice. An opinion.
And then there was me. A fifteen-year-old with an old PC. I used that PC to try and design websites (they weren’t that great) and even started my own blog. I had one for two short weeks, and the haters came in.
I dislike writing this. I dislike admitting that I was a loser at school that no one liked. I dislike admitting that people started putting down hateful and hurtful comments. Back then, there were chatboards, too, which were like miniature chatrooms on the blog, so people could leave hate. Nevermind the fact that I liked blogging and still do. I shut down my blog.
And restarted it.
And shut it down. Repeatedly.
I moved domains and used other services. I kept some blogs secret, only for me to read.
I don’t remember the comments, but I remember the main idea that I got from it. That my views and thoughts didn’t matter. And deep down inside, I felt that because that didn’t matter, I didn’t matter.
It took a while for me to sort that out.
I have hesitated to speak up so many times. There are many issues that I feel strongly about — race, gender, and class, among them — but I haven’t used a blog to write about them. Mostly, I try and write about what I like, which is consuming stories in every possible way, shape or form.
But sometimes these stories talk about the issues I care about. They get political. Or they’re biased and they lie. Or they’re not written well (*cough*HungerGames*cough*). And with so many events swirling about every day, it’s hard to ignore or care since what happens now affects the future.
I have been told to shut up, keep my head down and be quiet. For a long time, I did that.
I don’t think I’m going to do that anymore.
So leave a hurtful comment for all I care. I’m going to express my opinion.
If I keep silent, I’m also complicit in perpetuating injustices.