I heard about the sexual assault allegations against Neil Gaiman last year, and I was shocked. I only learnt that he sexually assaulted his nanny, and that was it. I expressed disappointment, and then I moved on. My emotional bandwidth wasn’t quite there to process it so I stored it away, until this week.
That was when the Vulture article came out. The allegations are horrendous. It was a harrowing read, ranging from rape to using BDSM as an excuse for Gaiman to pretend that this was all consensual, and the list goes on.
I am shocked.
How could a writer as esteemed as Neil Gaiman do this? There are many takes online, but the one I want to tackle is people saying not to put Gaiman on a pedestal.
Some may have, sure, and that was only because he presented himself to be a feminist, someone who championed women’s rights and even for trans rights. Every single public appearance has him looking like a calm and composed man who replies to questions in a smart and measured way. He looked like, in all accounts until now, someone who was fighting for those who were marginalised and disenfranchised. And he preyed on the very same people he had championed.
That was the disgusting part.
More came out of the woodwork. People said that handlers at cons made sure that he wasn’t to go near women (or something along the lines of that, or even teach women under 25. Anecdotes on social media abound. There was more dirt on Amanda Palmer, his ex-wife, who also enabled him through it all. And then, Gaiman himself released a statement that was carefully crafted by lawyers that showed no accountability.
What the hell? I don’t even know how you move on from here.
I own all Sandman volumes. I have read almost every book that Gaiiman has written and published. Most of his memorabilia is in storage, but he was one of those writers who showed me what comics and stories could do, far better than what I could imagine at the time. I took a lot of his writing advice to heart, also, and realised that I couldn’t follow what he did in his career because we are different people. Very silly, I know. Suffice to say that I admired him.
Until now.
If he didn’t champion women and the LGBTQIA, this blow would’ve hit different. If he wasn’t a hypocrite and engaged in virtue signalling, this would have been different. I feel silly. I’ve been conned through this process, and my favourite writer, like some people I despise, is also only good at virtue signalling. Far be it for me to pretend to have good morals, but the bare minimum is not to rape people, maybe? I am, at the very least, shaken, and I am also heartbroken. We trusted someone with a global mouthpiece to shed some light on our struggles, but it turned out that he was a monster all along.
And that is why, when I had my mentoring session with a young writer just now, I told her the following.
I told her to never ever be in the same room alone with a male writer who was much older than her. That if, at any point in time, she was uncomfortable with what was happening in any writing workshop or in a professional setting, she should call her mother, and then me. I can come later to help be her advocate, and ensure that any predator faces the consequences of his actions.
I also talked to her about the BooksActually scandal, and how a certain someone I know went to jail for grooming a minor. And that some young people who are around her age have told me about the abuses of power by their teachers.
I hate it.
I hate that I have to do this.
I hate that young girls and women cannot exist safely in spaces because we never know what wolves in sheep’s clothing may target them. I worry about the next generation of vulnerable writers — those with little familial and financial support — because that is who predators target. I worry that their stories will be taken away because some man in power abused them and left them, a shell of their former selves.
But that is all I can do. I can only show whoever I know that I am there to support them and I am there to believe them.
This problem, of famous artists, writers and people in the media or book industry abusing this power isn’t new, and this is a many-headed hydra. Find out that someone is problematic and then, months and years down the road, another person who we all thought was good and wholesome is actually dark.
I am tired of this. I am tired of hearing about all of this nonsense. I am only lucky that some students have come my way and know about this.
And I hope that with this knowledge, they will be protected.